I'm so sick of being sick

Holy motha of Perl!
I was sicker then a dog on New Year's Eve. My poor Tod celebrated pretty much by himslef since I was in bed mouning and growning from a painful headache, runny eyes, and sneeze attacks.
Now this week I have a narley cough and three days later a fucked up cold again.
Ok, I'm so over it. I hit my "wall" yesterday. work sucked, my face and head felt like it was going to pop off my body at any moment, I hated the sound of anything, and I couldnt get home fast enough.
As soon as I walked in the door, I dropped my purse, kicked off my shoes and balled like a baby. My pitty party lasted for about 30 minutes, and I think Tod was just as lost as I was.... He has no idea why I was having a breakdown. Poor guy, he tried to console me but I couldnt breath and I couldnt talk. I just cried. and cried.... and kept crying.
Here's the deal, on top of a bad day, I realized im fuckin sick of being sick! I thought my immune system was supposed to be kicked into high gear now that im pregnant? BUT NOOOOOOOO.
So after my melt down I was able to spend quality time with my family and acted normal.
All is good again.

So my camera battery was completely dead. On Pixie there was a close up picture challenge, but since my camera was dead, the closest I could get to my camera was my camera phone.

This is me. close up.

Kira and I seem to be in the car a lot. Traveling to and from. Running errands, and lots of talkin and laughin. There is always something to talk about or laugh about. I love you little girl. Thank you for all the wonderful times.

my girl. On her way to her 1st 7th grade dance of the year.

Today we will know if we are having a girl or boy..
3.6.07 We're having a girl.

Get Your Own! | View Slideshow

On November 7th we found out that we are expecting. This wasnt what I thought I would find out when I went to the doctors that day. I thought for sure I had a cyst on one of my ovarie or much worse... Anyway. For about 2 weeks I was super tired, and had no appetite,I felt sick all the time, also my cycle was odd, but due to PSCOS, that wasnt out of the norm for me. I told my doctor I was super tired, no energy, no appetite, feeling sick all the time, and my breasts hurt..... wtf? As soon as I said that I knew in my head...... this sounds like I'm pregnant.....
My doctor told me to go to the pharmacy, they upped my perscription, plus gave me a strong birth control and wanted me to go to the lab for blood work.
Off I went to Longs... didnt EVEN go to the pharmacy. I grabbed a water, a pack of dried apricots and picked up a pregnancy test.
I didnt call anyone... just started to drive home instead of heading off to the lab for blood..... since I KNEW the doctor wasnt requesting a pregnancy test, I thought I might as well rule it out before I thrash my system with all these presciption drugs.
Got home, and by this time I had to pee like a race horse.... did the peepee dance as I tore open the preg test wrapper.....
pee'd on the stick and then waited.
Got into my jammies since I was feeling sick, and within 4 minutes I checked my pregnancy stick wich showed 2 lines, not one... which meant that I was pregnant.
I almost feel back into our shower. My knees were weak. I was completely floored.
I was told over and over it was extremly likely since I have PSCOS that I wouldnt be able to get pregnant unless I took ovulation drugs and that would give us a chance of multiple births... that wasnt an option for us. So I just sucked it up and delt with the fact that we wouldnt have children together, but between us we had three healthy beautiful girls. They make us laugh, worry, and cry.... sometimes all in the same day! But we love them and its our beautiful blended family that makes me fullfilled.
So, this prego stick that showed two lines sat in front of me on my bathroom counter..... I had to call Tod. I had to call my mommy. I had to call my friends, my job.....
I called Tod and my hands were sweating, they made my phone wet and the side of my face wet. I couldnt stand up, I had to sit on the bed. I knew if I was almost knocked over by this, Tod was would for sure fall over.
After Tod said "hello?" I told him, "well.... I'm pregnant." There was a pause, then "what?!"
Later that night when he got home, he said he almost wrecked his work truck up in the mountains! We were just in shock for days.
I knew it was a miracle and I was to leave it up to the Lord if I could carry this child full term. I had faith in whatever his plan was, that's what was to be.
After lots of tests, and lots of waiting we were told that everything looked good.
So here I am almost 4 months later. I still have no energy, and sometimes I feel as old as Elizabeth in the Bible having a child, but we are all excited and can't wait to find out if its a boy or girl.
The Lord is wonderful and has blessed us with this baby and we are extremely grateful.

At this moment

At this moment my mom and her faith excite me. When I was a little girl my next door neighboor (Tanya McGire) would get on a bus every Sunday morning and they would sing going there and coming home. I waited for her to get off the bus so we could play... then one day I told my mom, Im going with Tanya. From that point on, my faith was jump started, I had a great pastor who would come visit my family, I was baptised in Fremont at the little Baptist church.

Later after having Kira, we would go to church with my grandma and aunt and Kira got to experiance the connection that I had when I was a child.

As I approched my mom about coming with us, she always brushed it off and so I stopped asking.... so did my grandma and aunt.

Over the last two years, her life has changed, her faith has changed and she has this intense fire in her that take me back. She calls me and we talk for hours about life, our journey and our family. The Lord has blessed me with a young mom who is my best friend and since we grew up together, we continue to grow and now in faith.
We attended the Crusade a few Sundays back and to see the HP Pavillion (Shark tank) completely filled, with over a thousand people trying to get in, it was truely amazing. My goosebumps got tired of having goosebumps. We left each night from Friday to Sunday exhausted and uplifted. We met great people, saw great musicians and witnessed thousands coming home.
I'm not sure what the Lord has in store for my mom but I know he's watching and caring for her.