Times have changed

When I was a kid and summer started, I would run outside at the butt crack of dawn and come back one time to pee or change clothes. I was then right back out till dark.
I was forced to eat dinner with my mom and dad and then right back out I went.
On the weekends starting Friday night's we would have parties. All my parents hippy friends woud come over. smoke drink play music. I learned fashion, slang, jokes, and manners from these parties and my parents.
See, in the 70's things were way different, no one was out to hurt kids, no one took themselves so fucken seriously and everyone helped each other.

When I was about ten, my mom and dad and I were on our way in our volkswagon bug to my grandma's house. We lived in Milpitas and she lived in Mt. View which is about a 15 to 20 minute drive. Well, we broke down as soon as we got on the freeway. We all stood out on the side of the road and the first car that saw us stopped and picked us up. Off we went to grandma's house, front door service. We had a friend in Miplitas get our car off the freeway, and before we made it home, our bug was already in our drive way.

Another time, we had gone to the college to see a light show that played Led Zepplin, because we were a good hippy family. On the way home, we stopped at a donut shop. We (the parentals) had coffee with friends, and talked. Then when it was time to leave we broke down, couldnt even get it out of the fricken driveway.
We had no idea what to do since it was about one in the morning.
The guy working in the donut shop came out and told me dad to laod up his family and friends and get his girl home safe. I stood their with my jaw dropped.... was this station wagon with cool wood panneling going to be our new ride? I loved it! I loved the room, I loved the different smell, since bugs have their own little weird German car smell.
I loved it all. We dropped off our friends and took it home. Got a good sleep, then the next morning my dad and I took it down the road to get detailed, washed and a full tank of gas. We returned it promptly the next morning after getting our wounded bug back home. The memory of that man's kindness still blows me away. He didnt judge us because we had big bell bottom pants and my dad looked JUST LIKE Robert Plant. He didnt judge our hippy friends with their long hair, and he didnt judge them for having me out so late. It was a family in need and this man out of the kindness of his heart gave us the keys to his station wagon to make sure we would get home safe. No money was exchanged, no pink slips, license, it was all done in trust. He trusted us that we would be back, he trusted us. It all worked out.
I still remember his face and his little pop belly with his dark hair comb over. His thick glasses. I wonder if I told him I loved that station wagon, for all it represented.

I wish I could take my daughter back in time so she could experiance what I was fortunate enough to experiance. I'm not saying my childhood was "perfect" because we had some creepy old men that lurked on our innocents, but all in all, friends, family, school, fights, good times, bad times, I would never ever ever change anything about it. It made me who I am today. I am weary of old men, HA!
I wish she could see how since I was raised around drugs and partying and good people, that that doesnt mean you will grow up to do drugs, be a loser, infact since I had all this around me all the time, I was the one in school who was the last to do drugs, the last to lose my virginity and the last to have a kid.
I was the one who didnt cave to peer pressure. Of course I was also the kid when the cops came to our elementary school to talk about drugs, I was the one who knew what everything on the table was.... but couldnt say so.... it wasnt a GOOD thing and no prizes were to be won if you knew the "Stuff" on the table. Like why should a ten year old girl know what Zig Zag's are for.

I was able to talk to my mom and dad about anything. I never felt like I couldnt talk to them, and for that I am eternaly grateful. When my friends were struggling with getting on the pill or smoking dop or dropping pills, they could only talk to their friends, which didn't always work in their favor.

Now I'm older and a child of my own. Somethings will never change. I will always worry about her, I should correct that. I actualy don't worry about her, I worry about other people. I tell her daily, I trust you, I just don't trust other people.
Times have changed and it's not for the good, so let's dance.

DRAMA FOR YOUR MOMMA

Why? Why is there drama?
Some people loooooooove it.
I hate it. I hate the feeling of things unsettled, of people’s feelings getting hurt,miscommunications, lack of communication, holding a grudge and then being mad for no reason at all.
I have a few issues I need to work on, anger management towards stupid drivers is one, but for the love of God, stop the drama.

So, "immature one", I address you.
Take notes:
Stop looking for things to get freaked out about. Life is to short and complicated enough, stop asking for money, stop acting like your better then other people, stop pretending to be something you really aren’t. Stop acting like people care about what you think or have to say. Stop acting like your right and we're wrong, stop acting like your normal, stop lying to yourself and others. Stop your jealousy. Your jealous over what we have and what you DON’T HAVE. Your sick mind thinks that you deserve what we have, yet you have never worked for shit a day in your life. You have lied, stolen, and cheated to get nothing in the end.
JUST FUCKIN STOP ALREADY
In the end honey, you can't take it with you. Your jealousy and your pathetic rants will get you left behind and alone.
I truly believe you are looking for “a way out” and the only way you can do it is to leach off of us. Your family has had enough of you, and you can’t turn to leach off of them any longer, so where do you turn? You turn to us. All your anger, your jealous rage and pathetic rants have been lashed upon us. What will happen to you when you don’t win this one? Your running out of options, and even you, the pathetic skank that you are knows it's true.
You give single mothers a bad name and women in general a bad rap.
You’re the reason why men stay single. You’re the reason for Viagra.
You’re sick and foul, and your lies are pathetic. You are delusional and mentally unstable. You shouldn’t have kids let alone pets.

Your a Christian? Hah! So was SATAN!

This week

The images from Katrina are devastating, heartbreaking, and Cyril.
Lives and families are destroyed. City's, towns, buildings, homes, are all destroyed.
Kira and I have boxes of clothes that we were going to sale at our local flea market, those items are now being boxed up and being sent to Red Cross.
Seeing women walking the streets with just their baby in their arms and a diaper bag crying, literally breaks my heart. I sob watching, worrying about this woman, wondering where she will go, who will help her, what trouble will come her way, where is the rest of her family. I toss and turn all night worried for this woman and her infant child. Where will they sleep, where will they get food. What will she do without diapers.
The looting in my fiance's defense is because they are starving and thirsty and have nothing. My defense, when your thirsty and starving and in NEED, we shouldn't see your ignorant ass running out of the Walmart with a walkman, a big screen tv and a vcr!
Where will they go, the people who have nothing? How do you start over when you only have the clothes on your back? How do you start over?
I guess that's to far ahead. How do you get out of a town where people are killing, shooting, raping, and stealing? How do you find safety?
How can we sit at home in the safety of our warm cozy beds with our full bellies and not be compelled to do something, How could you not want to help.
My co-worker's family are in MS. They have called to let him know they are trying to get back to see if there was anything left. His sisters home is gone, the two uncles homes are gone.
I can't even imagine. We don't have a plan, we don't have our things well organized, what would we grab as we were leaving town, what would we take with us. My crazy cat. Blankets, clothes, food, water. It' all so cyril as it was during 9/11. How do you get your mind around something that is so devastating? How?
Be safe and love each other.