Who I am when I look into the mirror~

I think I struggle with this most of all. How I view myself. What others view me as.
Who do I want to be and what do I want my child to learn from me.

Each day I have the same prayers and give the same praise. I'm highly blessed that my family is healthy, I'm blessed that I have the family and friends I have and we love each other very much. I'm blessed that God has taken me on a journey and at times I'm scared out of my mind but there he is, to always calm me down and comfort me.
So who am I?
I'm stubborn, I'm scared, I worry non stop, I don't think I'm attractive, I have crazy out of control hair, I'm self conscious and I believe I can be very mean. I am insecure, i route for the underdog, I have crazy anger, I find humor in the funniest and oddest of things, I have complete compassion and I am almost always this complex every day of my life.

I work on things daily, ask for forgiveness daily and try to simply love daily.
Who I am, is a work in progress, a journey, a life time of learning, and lose, gaining, sharing, and loving.
What I see daily is a mother, daughter, sister, girlfriend, lover, nurturer, and unapologetically a Christian.

90 Minutes in Heaven by Don Piper

This book has surpassed the Purpose Driven Life.

I started to read this book a few months back and if I was a fast reader like my mom, I would have been done in a day.... but there is more to this then just the thickness of the book. After reading about the accident and his journey to Heaven each page forces you take in each word and with great detail of Don Piper, he explaines how Heaven looks, smells, the sounds, the people, and you'll soon find yourself sobbing that your not there.
After the first chapeter, I would come back to work and discuss it with Lonnie and the emotional attachment you feel towards Don Piper and it would end up taking me weeks to get from one chapter to another. My thoughts were filled of songs, sounds, and possible people you could see in Heaven.
I have heard that describing Heaven to humans is similar to what explaining the internet to an ant would be like. Incomprehensible.
This book really should have only taken me a few days to read, but I soaked up each page, filled my days with thoughts of Heaven, and held on tight for three weeks.

Elementary

The best memories of elementary school were my friends. We played tether ball for ever, we chased boys into the girls bathroom and we laughed and laughed until one of us farted.

My best friend DeeDee Stout was the toughest girl in school and her and I were as thick as theives, we did everything together. We hung tight and when these narly cholas wanted to kick my ass, she was right there to take them on, granted she was 3 years younger then them, but she was tall,and had a mouth on her that would have made a truck driver blush. She was already 5'6 and was this beautiful black girl.She was very very intimidating. To watch these three 10th graders walk off without a word was pricless. No one had ever stood up for me like that, and no one has since.

My worst memory was when DeeDee and I thought we were going off to middle school together but she had to go to another school across town. Later on as 8th grade started, I was on the bus, on my way home and I looked in the back, and she was already sitting in the back..... She looked so sad. I was so excited to see her. We hugged and we talked and I found out she was pregnant and her mom wanted her to go to another school so she wouldnt have to deal with all the kids that she grew up with. I never saw her again. I think about her all the time and I have one momento from her.
In 6th grade we had to write a poem, her poem was wonderful. She gave it to me after that school year was over and I have kept it with me, and will forever. She ment the world to me.
My hope is someday we can find each other again.

Favorite Layout.....?

Hmmm.... Do I have a favorite layout.... I really don't think so. I don't think I have created a layout yet that I thought, "this is the one!, this is my favorite!"
....just hasnt happened yet.
What I'm happy with? I'm happy with Kira's baby book (except for one 2 page layout that really should be redone) and a wedding album I did for a close freind... who one month later seperated from her new husband. lol.

My new favorite store

Unfortunatley for me, this store is about two hours away.
It's in Tracy, Ca. and is down the road from Kira's dad's house.
When they moved from a small location to the new location, my knees hit the floor when I walked into this store. I could have been in there for two hours and not seen everything! Their class samples are beautiful, great kits if you can't make it to the class, and their prices are among the best I have come across.
My new new NEW addiction!
I'll be back on Friday!!
http://www.youngplaymemories.com/Home.html

a new happy place

I so love this chic!
Heidi Swap makes me happy.
Off to share details with the girls @ PFT website

I can DREAM........................

In my little world it would be nice to sleep in, wake up, take the kids to school, meet some friends for coffee and jot back home to clean, prepare dinner, pick up the kids from school, eat dinner, help with home work and spend time together.
Ok, since thats not my life, it's a dream. A pipe dream, but my dream.

I was on disability for 4 months due to my tendonitis on both elbows,about 7 years ago.
Being home, taking Kira to and from school was wonderful. So being at home for longer then 4 months might get old..... but I highly doubt it!

Another dream? Have you seen those little old couples in their bigass motor homes with their Jeep tied to the back of it??? traveling cross country with their little mini poodle all perched on the dashboard looking at the view in front of him?
Yep, thats what I want. I wanna be able to travel, relax and read magazines in a lawn chair outside of our bigass motor home parked on the Baja Coast, or Florida Keys, or by the Colorado River. Tod could fish, and I could relax.
So when you see those old couples traveling through your town, know that I am completely envious of those bastards!