Her Heart
It's been a long time since I posted and time has passed and things have changed, some good and some sad.
We enjoy being in our new home. Our house is filled with love and laughter. Time is spent with the kids, basketball, school, school functions, work, fishing, scrapbooking, friends, get togethers, bbq's, shopping.
As I have started our family in one area, my other family is being tested.
My mom's health has become alarmingly frightning. Each day has been more difficult for her to deal with the pain. Lonnie came over in January & spoke to her about going to the doctors. Its not against God's will and God DOES use doctors for the good of his word. This planted the seed in her and later she made an appointment to see a new doctor that came HIGHLY refered to us.
Yesterday as we were waiting in the room for him to enter, it was like I was the mother and she was the scared little child. Her fear was that he would be made at her for the state of her health. In my mind I couldnt get it straight, no one was mad, only worried. Worried that this would some day shortly take her life. We needed help and we needed it right now.
His voice was soft, his words were kind and his heart was generous.
After testing her blodd,and her heart, we found she was now a diabetic, and has heart damage... somewhere down the line she suffered a mild heart attach that has caused poor circulation to her hands and feet causing them to swell. He gave her thyrpoid meds and high blood pressure meds and water pill meds. The visit was about two hours and after we were on our way to lunch... what to eat? chicken is always safe!
We had grilled chicken breast and grilled asparagas with pesto sauce. WONDERFUL. A wonderful Valentine's Day lunch with my mom, who was on her way... and my way to becoming healthy and strong. No more smoking for her, no more bad food for us and tons of prayers had been answered.
On my way home my eyes filled with huge tears as I thought back to how scared she was in the doctors room, waiting. She must have thought such horrible things and must have just felt so frightened. My heart broke for her, but it had to be done. Anymore time untreated would have ended my mom's life. Guarenteed.
So for Valentine's Day she got a perscription for a healthy heart.
I spoke to her today and she sounds a tad bit better, she sounds not as grogy as she has and she still has a sense of humor.
I apologized for ever making her feel like I bulldozed over her rights to have a voice. I never wanted my mom to feel like she couldnt tell me anything and I look back and feel that I had shushed her voice. I cried on the phone for causing that fear in the doctors room, the fear that she would be in trouble... I feel that is my doing. As I cried and she cried she wanted to make amends for earlier wrong doings. I would have no part of that! There would be no making amends, everything has happened for a reason. She is my mom and I have always been honored to have her as my mom and have always been proud of her.
She's an amazing mother, grandmother, friend, sister, daughter, wife. I truly dont know how I could make it a day without hearing her voice.
I know the Lord only gives you what you can handle, but at moments I think he has me confused with someone who is MUCH stonger then I.
I know the Lord has her heart in his hands and he will be the one to mend it. Just dont take it from me now. The Lord has given me this amazing women as a mother, to nuture me, love me, support me and I'm not done, I'm not done needing her love.
Jen
We enjoy being in our new home. Our house is filled with love and laughter. Time is spent with the kids, basketball, school, school functions, work, fishing, scrapbooking, friends, get togethers, bbq's, shopping.
As I have started our family in one area, my other family is being tested.
My mom's health has become alarmingly frightning. Each day has been more difficult for her to deal with the pain. Lonnie came over in January & spoke to her about going to the doctors. Its not against God's will and God DOES use doctors for the good of his word. This planted the seed in her and later she made an appointment to see a new doctor that came HIGHLY refered to us.
Yesterday as we were waiting in the room for him to enter, it was like I was the mother and she was the scared little child. Her fear was that he would be made at her for the state of her health. In my mind I couldnt get it straight, no one was mad, only worried. Worried that this would some day shortly take her life. We needed help and we needed it right now.
His voice was soft, his words were kind and his heart was generous.
After testing her blodd,and her heart, we found she was now a diabetic, and has heart damage... somewhere down the line she suffered a mild heart attach that has caused poor circulation to her hands and feet causing them to swell. He gave her thyrpoid meds and high blood pressure meds and water pill meds. The visit was about two hours and after we were on our way to lunch... what to eat? chicken is always safe!
We had grilled chicken breast and grilled asparagas with pesto sauce. WONDERFUL. A wonderful Valentine's Day lunch with my mom, who was on her way... and my way to becoming healthy and strong. No more smoking for her, no more bad food for us and tons of prayers had been answered.
On my way home my eyes filled with huge tears as I thought back to how scared she was in the doctors room, waiting. She must have thought such horrible things and must have just felt so frightened. My heart broke for her, but it had to be done. Anymore time untreated would have ended my mom's life. Guarenteed.
So for Valentine's Day she got a perscription for a healthy heart.
I spoke to her today and she sounds a tad bit better, she sounds not as grogy as she has and she still has a sense of humor.
I apologized for ever making her feel like I bulldozed over her rights to have a voice. I never wanted my mom to feel like she couldnt tell me anything and I look back and feel that I had shushed her voice. I cried on the phone for causing that fear in the doctors room, the fear that she would be in trouble... I feel that is my doing. As I cried and she cried she wanted to make amends for earlier wrong doings. I would have no part of that! There would be no making amends, everything has happened for a reason. She is my mom and I have always been honored to have her as my mom and have always been proud of her.
She's an amazing mother, grandmother, friend, sister, daughter, wife. I truly dont know how I could make it a day without hearing her voice.
I know the Lord only gives you what you can handle, but at moments I think he has me confused with someone who is MUCH stonger then I.
I know the Lord has her heart in his hands and he will be the one to mend it. Just dont take it from me now. The Lord has given me this amazing women as a mother, to nuture me, love me, support me and I'm not done, I'm not done needing her love.
Jen
posted by Jen @ 4:46 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home